It all started as soon as I arrived home from Shop Wrong. Now ya know why I call it Shop Wrong. I shoulda just stayed home and forgot about the bread and cold cuts anyhow cause now my son is gone.
He left in a rage, kicking my shopping cart with the watermelon in it cause i asked him to help me with the groceries. He had told me he was too busy "doing something" when I initially asked him. I said nothing but when inside with as many bags as I could carry and started crying. Bob came up to ask what was wrong and I told him what Robbie had said  to me. Bob said it was my fault for not "bieng a parent" or being stiricter with Robbie.
I went back out and told my son all his friends had to leave. Party over, end of story. That's when he informned me he was 19 and could do what he wanted. So he left, breaking my cart and his pals left with him.
Then I get a crazy call from my mother. Patty had (wrongly) told her that I walked to Shop Wrong and back. Well, I distinctly recall not locking the door of Bob's car when he left me off in front of the liqour store! But Patty insisted I had walked and now my mother was ranting about my rotten husband making me walk to the store and back! And then my mother wanted to know why I get "crazy" every night--maybe I was starving myself?
I think everyone wants me dead. Well, I'm getting there--fast. My mother said she's "reporting us"--again. Seems she's been doing that for 21 years. Maybe she WANTS me in jail. That has been her goal since 1987 when she got Bob and me fired from Bergen Pines. So things never change, do they?
It's after 11 a.m the following day and I still don't know where my son is. Not that he gives a damn anyhow. Sure hope he can find a job since he's 19!

I am impressed. The kids today seem so much more mature, intelligent, capable, self-sufficient--need I go on? For instance, if Robbie's pal Elmo does no pursue a career in cooking than he needs a personal re-evaluation. Friday night I was dawg-sick (again.) I puked before the kids arrived home and had a headache bigger than a whale's ass. In short, I was almost ready to ask Bob tp take me to the ER but sure didn't feel like spending hours doing what I do worst--waiting without picking at my body in some way.
But after I puked I was oddly craving something salty. I peeked in the fridge and there was soemthing there that wasn't in there prior to the kids' return home. It looked like dog food. Stew or slop of some sort. Maybe Bob put it there for Spike...but why? And why in MY fridge? So my nosey self ventured further and opened the lid. It smelled GOOD. It wasn't dog food--it was real people food and it made me realize my belly wanted something in it! Sooooo..I didn't ask, I didn't care...I smuggled a spoonful..then two...then more...AND IT WAS DELICIOUS!! And spicy, but not hot. Perfect for my deprived gut.
I don't even think the kids noticed I had eaten any of it. I ensured the lid was closed properly (that was easy cause it was Rubbermaid, not Tupperware!)Thus began my quest to find out what I had eaten (God forbid it COULD have been horsemeat!)
Turns out it was gumbo, cooked by Elmo, Robbie's cute pal. He made it all by himself and took it to Leah's house for her party.Then he took the leftovers back here with Robbie so they could finish 'rm off.
Well that kid has got to go to a culinary school cause if he invented that recipe  he's got talent! I hope he does consider a career in cooking. If he made something that agreed with ME then it's definitly a winning recipe!
I wish I was a kid nowadays. I like having the yound people here cause they are so refreshing and make me feel young, too. They seem so much smarter and mature than the kids were in 1977. Maybe we had too much Carpenters and too many space cowboys.
I just wish there was another income besides my unemployment so I could afford more and better treats when the kids are here. Robbie, if you're reading this--quit your posistion as the president of the Underachievers Club and get your butt out in the workforce! If Patty can work, so can YOU!!

I got my Noro Sock yarn today--less than a week after ordering it from Ebay! And I still think I got a good deal--it was $16.00 (I won the bid, otherwise it was 18.00 "buy it now") I was so depressed after yesterday's grilling that I needed that yarn to lift my spirits. And it's still cheaper than a shrink! Who can be depressed when looking at all those magical colors flow together, blending like a rainbow of bright hues? Even if I tried dying my own yarn, I couldn't reproduce Noro's ceratin graduation that always looks clean and not muddled.
Yesterday was a bummer. That State inspector tried to turn all my words around and refused to let Bob utter a word. There was a DEA present also but he was relatively quiet. But the investigator was not at all as I had pictured from his manner on the telephone.And when he asked me to finialize it all by writing a statement, he said,
"just write that the narcs were recieved by me and signed for, then disappeared." That's NOT what happened and I'm so sorry I didn't have a lawyer there to represent me. Now all I can do is wait for the State Board to review my statement. Bob said I appeared stoned at the interview. Well, what does he expect when my stomach was killing me and I hadn't eaten anything in over 24 hours? Last night I was having trouble with swallowing. It felt like a pill or something was stuck in my throat.I wonder if it's really all nerves?
I don't want to ever work as a nurse again, but if I surrender my lisense volentarily it may appear as an admission if guilt. I just detest the thought of the whole nursing scene. My whole career has been nothing but a disaster.
It's time to go pet the Noro again.

People with cancer can't run a half hour and jog up that hill at the funeral home, right?w, c/mon, let's all agree on that cause that's what I was doing when Bob went to pick up Patty from Spicy's house tonight. Not only did I do it, but Alex from across the street was my witness and laughed when I ran by and thanked him for not making fun of me. "Now I can tell Patty I'm not that sick, " I told him.So now I'm convinced my intestines are just screwed up from all the laxatives I ingested when I was 19. Actually, the time from 1977-1983 could be deemed as the time I had a close relationship with epsom salts. We parted as enemies, never to greet or meet again, and to this day I can't even drink iced tea without being reminded of the times I used Lipton to conceal my relationship with Mr Epsom.
It could be Chrons disease, also. Or diverticulosis. Or colitis. Heck, I sure have earned a case of colitis after working at Bristol all those years. So maybe prednisone and I will have to become acquainted again. Just what I need--another reason to deplete my bone mass.
Tomorrow I will know for sure what Bristol plans to do with me.The administrator never showed up for that 3-way fact-finding conversation with Unemployment today. The guy was really nice to me and even hinted that I could have a cut'n'dry case if I chose to hire a lawyer and pursue charges against them. He agreed that I did make a careless "paper error" but if there was theft or criminal conduct, why wasn't the police notified? And as of today, the State Board of Nursing had nothing on me, either.But I don't want to sue Bristol.That never ocurred to me. I just want closure. I just want to stop feeling as if I have to defend myself for something I didn't even do! (Maybe if I was fired for diverting Resource supplement, I could live with that cause I did that--more than once!)
I feel like a terrible friend now cause Fran bought over a whole tray of ziti, a whole chocolate cake, sausgaes, and gravy and I haven't even thanked her properly. I've been reading the booklet she gave me about angels, and I think I DID contact Raphael last night! Something weird happened right before I fell asleep. I should keep a journal by the bed so I can write this stuff down. I do recall that I felt I went someplace just before I fell asleep. Usually I can't tell when I'm about to drift into sleep, but last night something happened and I actually felt myself travel...it was nice, and I WAS NOT on drugs, nor did I have any of that stoopid expensive wine Bob got me. I never opened the bottle at all. I wish I could return it but Bob says there are no returns on liquor. Is he crazy? No income, yet he buys me wine and those pretty multi-colored roses.
I WILL get even with him. Time to start that fake snakeskin belt I planned for him--many months ago!

Could there be a yarn god? Or is Jean , the "listmom" on the CrochetPartners Yahoo group, an all-seeing, all-knowing angel that pulled strings with that god because I plugged her book at the store? Well, it certainally seemed to be a weird twist of fate yesterday while shopping at A.C Moore. After church, I stupidly decided to trot on over evn though I was weak and still experiencing pain and pressure. (no results from my G.I series yet.) But I needed a skein of turquoise Microspun as I seemed to be running short for that Tangerine Top. Dye lot wasn't important; I figured I had enough for the front and back and could wing it if the sleeves were slightly off-color--literally! Anyhow, I also printed out that 50% off coupon so planned to get black crochet thread for Patty's spiderweb purse. (Finally! My daughter wants me to make her something!! A crohet spiderweb purse with hot pink lining, to match her prom dress!) Besides, I was able to keep my lunch down and the fresh air would do me good, right?
Not exactly,but more on that later.
A.C Moore was crowded. I guess everyone had those 50% off coupons. Or maybe the crochet fever is catching on because all the current issues of my favorite crochet magazines were out of stock. But as I perused the pathetic selection of Microspun, a well-dressed woman approached me and asked if I knew anything about crochet.
DUH!
She was just learning and needed suggestions for yarn and hooks. She planned to make baby stuff but wanted to begin with an easy, "do-able" project. Did I have any ideas or books to get her started? Of course! I immediatly steered her towards Jean L's Leisure Arts book "Learn To Crochet In a Day" and she plucked it up without a second thought. Obviously, money was not a concern to her so I then pointed out the difference in yarn quality and advised her to get some TLC as opposed to Red Heart worsted. I also reccomended a H hook to use with the lovely burgandy Essentials yarn she chose. I must have spent a hour demonstrating the basic chain stitch for her (nothing like test-driving the yarn!) and I was beginning to feel really dizzy and nauseous, so I told her I had to go and returned to the Microspun area. Now, with spring here and all those brilliant colors available, why did those folks at A.C Moore stock only the neutral shades of Microspun? Sure, there's a place for them, too, but hey, we need some color here! Flowers are blooming, sun is shining--where's the fuschia and lemon yellow to match? Then I peeked up and saw it. A lone skein of bright turquoise with no lable. And it bore a yellow clearance tag! ONE DOLLAR!! Imagine--one buck for the yarn I needed! Then I perused the thread section and spotted a ball of Aunt Lydia's #3 cotton in black--reduced to 50 cents!!
I grabbed both items but couldn't use my coupon because they were on clearance. So I passed my coupon on to the ladies in back of me. Paying it forward, so to speak. A win-win situation if there ever was one!
However, I had to call Bob to pick me up because I almost passed out from pain. Took two Darvocets at home and they didn't help. The pressure in my pelvic area scares me. And the belching, bloating, back pain--what kind of an alien is inside me?? And why the bleep can't it go reside soemwhere else so I can get on with my life?

Yes, it HAS been a long time..way too long. I should have forseen this coming, huh? The fact that I was terminated from Bristol should have been no suprise to anyone who has been plodding along with me during the past 7 years. Well, Miss Iza finally got her wish and she got me fired! God bless King Neptune (don't ask; I'd probably get sued if I tried to explain how that links to the nurse who wrote me up.)
Anyhow, I have been writing again, so perhaps this was a blessing. I just have to type everything on my word processor. Right now I have reams of paper with scribble-scrabble all over the kitchen table and spewing onto the living room floor. I've been getting closer to Jesus, too! I really do look forward to that day in Heaven when I get to meet Him--and my old doggie pals, too, like Sammy and Clyde.
I wonder if this beely problem I have could be cancer? Yes, the back pain has persisted for about two years--then there was that sudden bleeding last year that I neglected to tell a doctor about. Now this. Ironic, isn't it, that I once tried so hard not to eat andnow I physically cannot tolerate any food. Tonight when my mother took me out for pizza I almost lost my jeans at the store. I feel weak and apathetic, just as I did on this date in 1974. Wow! Imagine that! I even remember the exact date I began the diet that almost killed me--January 17, 1974.
So Friday at 6:45 I have my upper g.i. series at Valley. Then Monday at 1 I have to report to the Unemployment office for my orientation. I wonder if Bristol will contest the benefits. I also wonder why they haven't definitly told me I was fired. Supposedly, I was suspended pending an investigation. By WHOM?? I haven't heard from the Board of Nursing and no criminal charges were filed against me, so what the bleep is going on?
I don't want to whine and seem bitter because I actually like bieng home, safe from those people who tormented me for so many years. Perhaps someday this will be the subject of a new story, but in the meantime, I would appreciate a bit of courtesy from my employer--if they know the meaning of that word.
Good to be back again!

 
http://nurturingneedles.blogdrive.comSequence Row 1    Sequence Row 2    Sequence Row 3    Sequence Row 4      
ch 4, dc in same stitch as turning,    ch 4, dc in same stitch as turning,    ch 4, dc in same stitch as turning,    ch 4, dc in same stitch as turning,      
* ch 1, dc in ch-1 space,    * ch 1, dc in ch-1 space,    * ch 1, dc in ch-1 space,    * ch 1, dc in ch-1 space,      
dc in each of next 2 dc,    dc in each of next 3 dc,    dc in each of next 4 dc,    dc in each of next 5 dc,      
(dc, ch 1, dc) in next dc
{Note: this V-stitch starts a new shell sequence}.    skip next dc,
ch 1,
(dc, ch 2, dc) in V-stitch.     skip next dc,
ch 1,
(2dc, ch 1, 2dc) in V-stitch.     skip next dc,
ch 1,
(2dc, ch 2, 2dc) in V-stitch.       
Dc in each of next 3 dc
(from this point on, you will always dc in these dc, never increasing. This will become the 3-dc rib between shells),     Ch 1,
dc in each of next 3 dc,
(you will dc in each of next 3 dc here from now on).    Ch 1,
dc in each of next 3 dc,     Ch 1,
dc in each of next 3 dc,       
skip next 2 dc,
ch 1,
make (3dc, ch 2, 3 dc) shell in ch-2 space of v-stitch of previous row
(NOTE: from this point on, you will make a [3dc, ch 2, 3 dc] shell-in-shell in this shell.)    shell in shell,    shell in shell,    shell in shell,      
Ch 1,
dc in each of next 3 dc
(again, from this point on, you will always dc in these dc, never increasing.
This will become the 3-dc rib between shells.)     dc in each of next 3 dc,
    dc in each of next 3 dc,
    dc in each of next 3 dc,
      
(dc, ch 1, dc) in next dc.     ch 1,
(dc, ch 2, dc) in V-stitch,    ch 1,
(2dc, ch 1, 2dc) in V-stitch,     dc in each of next 3 dc,
      
Dc in each of next 2 dc,     ch 1,
dc in each of next 3 dc,    ch 1,
dc in each of next 4 dc,    ch 1,
(2dc, ch 1, 2dc) in V-stitch,      
            ch 1,
dc in each of next 5 dc,       
dc in ch-1 space.*     dc in ch-1 space.*    dc in ch-1 space.*     dc in ch-1 space.*       
Ch 1, Shell in shell at point    Ch 1, Shell in shell at point.    Ch 1, Shell in shell at point.    Ch 1, Shell in shell at point.       
Repeat from * to * to end of row.    Repeat from * to * to end of row.    Repeat from * to * to end of row.    Repeat from * to * to end of row.       
V-stitch in 3rd chain of beginning ch from previous row.    V-stitch in 3rd chain of beginning ch from previous row.    V-stitch in 3rd chain of beginning ch from previous row.    V-stitch in 3rd chain of beginning ch from previous row.     
 

Ok, here's a copy of my OLD entry--hope this helps all my friends in Christ who are struggling with this nerve-wracking pattern!
I feel compelled to speak my mind in regards to that Serafina shawl pattern. Perhaps my musings will spare others the torture I (and I know I'm not alone) I am going through with this damn pattern. One thing is for certain: The written instructions suck. Plain and simple. Row 8 is the worst. If you make it to row 8 confident that you are more than halfway to row 11 (the end of the challenging portion) you better swallow that pride and take a close look at the diagram before you get too cocky. Heres what I've discovered. More thoughts will follow, but this is plenty for now. Always remember to ch 1 before and after the shell at thepoint. The instructions fail to note this after row 5. I don';t know why, but if you don't do this, you'll be screwed. Always ch 1, then make a v-stitch in the SPACE at the end of each row. Not in the STITCH--the SPACE. Same goes for the beginning dc at the start of each row. Mistake on row 6--skip 2 dc's , not 1, after the V-stitches. Follow the photo and you will have an easier time seeing where the new sequences form. Only refer to the written instructions as a guide. Set a goal for yourself to complete 2 rows, then walk away from the bleepin' thing. Go for a walk, pray, eat something fattening. Forget about the pattern as long as possible. If you limit yourself to completing 2 perfect rows per session, consider that a big acomplishment! Yes, its a daunting pattern, but its not impossible. We CAN do this, fellow crocheters! We are not going to let ourselves be won over by a stupid shawl pattern, right? RIGHT! I'm on row 10 and will post a pic as soon as I get the batteries recharged for my camera.

Sometimes my job offers comic relief, and last night was one of those times. Two patients made me laugh so hard, I almost needed the Depends myself! One gentleman in a wheelchair stared at the lady in 355, who was lying in her recliner outside her room.(She can't talk and appears to be asleep all the time.) The man said to me, "Look at that poor lady. She needs to go to a place for old folks. You know, the kind of place for sick old people who have no one to take care of them."
In other terms, Bristol Manor, perhaps????
Then Mr P asked me for thread to sew up his pants. He knows I enjoy sewing and making small repairs on clothing. "But it must be invisible thread," he insisted. "And it has to be black."
Now I know why I work at Bristol!
Robbie wants my special birthday cake today--the one with real whipped cream and strawberries. Of course I'll make it, but I'll probably opt for frozen berries instead of the fresh ones. Guess my son really is a man now cause I didn't see him at all for his birthday yesterday!

Now for the cape:
COL, using waste yarn, cast on 99 needles (left 49, right 50) and knit approx 9 rows. RC 000
*** Always wrapping the first needle to prevent a hole, push 8 needles opposite the carriage into hold and knit across the row. Knit 1 row. Repeat 10 more times until 2 needles remain. Push all needles into working posistion and knit 10 rows.
***Repeat from ***to *** 32 times.
Knit 10 more rows.
Knit 10 rows of waste yarn and remove.
I give up--no more commercial patterns for me! I am designing my own with KnitWare!